The Friendship Formula: 7 Qualities of a Great Friend

Every child wants to have friends, but children aren’t automatically born knowing how to be a good friend. Friendship is a skill that can be taught, practiced, and strengthened. Here’s how:

1. What Makes Someone a Good Friend?
Introduce seven friendship qualities:

• Kindness
• Listening
• Empathy
• Honesty
• Respect
• Cooperation
• Encouragement

2. Being a Good Friend Is More Than Being Nice
Explain that healthy friendship also involves listening, respecting boundaries, solving problems, and accepting differences.

3. Help Students Recognize Friendship Behaviors
Discuss the difference between:

• “A friend makes me feel included.”
• “A friend listens to me.”
• “A friend respects my ideas.”
• “A friend can disagree with me without being mean.”

4. Teach Friendship Skills Explicitly
Counselors can model and role-play friendship behaviors rather than simply telling children to “be nice.”

Counselor Activity: The Friendship Recipe

Give students a paper shaped like a recipe card.

A Great Friendship Recipe

• 2 cups of __________
• 1 cup of __________
• 3 spoonfuls of __________
• A pinch of __________
• Mix together with __________

Students identify the qualities they believe are necessary for a strong friendship.

Discussion:
“What happens if we leave out one important ingredient?”

Picture-Book Recommendations

• Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
• The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig
• Strictly No Elephants by Lisa Mantchev
• Wyatt Learns about Friendship by Lynne Watts

ASCA Alignment

M 2: Sense of acceptance, respect, support and inclusion for self and others in the school environment
B-SS 1: Effective communication and listening skills
B-SS 2: Positive, respectful and supportive relationships
B-SS 4: Empathy
B-SS 6: Collaboration and cooperation skills

These standards directly support teaching students how to build and maintain positive relationships.