How to handle a child’s perfectionism

Tips to Help a Perfectionist Child As a school counselor for twenty years, I often heard from teachers and parents who were coping with a perfectionist student.  Intelligent and capable of high quality work, this is often a child who dissolves into tears or a tantrum when they don’t perform a task perfectly or if…

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How to change bossy behavior in children

Tips for Thriving with the Strong Willed Child Is your child strong willed? Do you have a strong willed student in your classroom? Determined Spirited In charge Self-reliant Competitive We can either embrace their strengths or spend our days in power struggles.  We can appreciate the value and leadership they can bring to any group…

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3 ways to support shy kids

How to Support Shy Kids Recently at an outdoor concert, I watched a self-assured young boy spot twin girls playing nearby, walk up to them and ask, “Can I play with you?”  He was quickly assimilated into the group and soon the three of them were happily playing together although they were never formerly introduced…

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Parenting the Introverted Child

When I teach parent training groups on personality style, one question that often comes up is how to best parent a child who is reserved or introverted. I always reassure parents that there is no one single personality style that is better than another.  This statement often resonates in a powerful way with many participants since…

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Motivating Students

Growth vs. Fixed Mindset At a recent elementary school training, a teacher began asking me about strategies for a student who has no motivation.  He refuses to do any work at all and she has tried numerous strategies already.  “I’ve tried everything and nothing works,” she said.  As a school counselor for 20 years, I…

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Kids and tough friendship decisions

Friendship Decisions and Self-Worth As a school counselor for twenty years, one of the most common problems that I talked to kids about was friendship. What do you do when a friend wants to do something that is unkind, thoughtless, or involves breaking the rules? What do you do when a friend is bossy, self-centered…

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