From “I Can’t” to “I’ll Try Again”: Growing Perseverance and Resilience
Perseverance is the engine that drives resilience. When elementary students learn to keep going when something is hard, confusing, or doesn’t work the first time, they are building lifelong skills that extend far beyond academics. As elementary school counselors, you are uniquely positioned to teach, model, and reinforce perseverance as part of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) and resilience-building.
What is Perseverance?
Perseverance is the ability to continue trying even when a task is challenging, frustrating, or takes longer than expected. It includes:
- Trying again after mistakes
- Asking for help or using a new strategy instead of quitting
- Staying focused on a goal even when it feels difficult
- Believing effort matters as much (or more) than talent
How it connects to resilience: Students who develop perseverance are better equipped to handle setbacks, cope with stress, and believe in their ability to grow. Resilience isn’t about avoiding struggle—it’s about working through it. Perseverance is the actionable skill that makes resilience possible.
What Perseverance is Not
It’s helpful to clear up misconceptions. Perseverance is NOT:
- Perfectionism – Students don’t need to get it right every time.
- Never asking for help – Perseverance includes knowing when to seek guidance.
- Pushing through unhealthy stress – Breaks, boundaries, and emotional regulation matter.
- Working harder, no matter what – It’s about strategy, not stubbornness.
- Ignoring feelings – Students can feel frustrated and choose to try again.
Defining what perseverance is not helps students avoid shame and builds psychological safety.
Practical Ways to Help Students Develop Perseverance
Integrate these strategies into counseling groups, individual sessions, or SEL initiatives:
- Normalize Mistakes
Say out loud: “Mistakes show your brain is learning.” Create a “Mistake of the Week” celebration board where students share learning moments.
- Teach the Language of Yet
Add the word “yet” to limiting statements:
- “I can’t do this… yet.”
- “I haven’t figured it out… yet.”
- Focus on Process Praise
Praise effort, strategies, and progress over outcome.
Examples:
- “You tried three different ways.”
- “You didn’t give up when it got hard.”
- Use Goal-Setting Check-Ins
Small goals → Visible progress → Motivation increases.
Counselors can use simple worksheets:
- My Goal
- What I tried
- What went wrong
- What I’ll try next
- Model Perseverance
Share your own story of sticking with a challenge. Students believe what they see.
