Elementary Students and Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of life. Whether it’s a disagreement over sharing toys, a misunderstanding on the playground, or frustration during group work, conflicts arise daily in elementary school settings. While conflict can be uncomfortable, it presents a valuable opportunity for students to develop critical social and emotional skills that will serve them throughout their lives.

Elementary school counselors play an essential role in guiding students through the process of understanding and resolving conflicts. By teaching students the skills needed for crucial conversations and effective conflict resolution, we help them become confident peacekeepers who can navigate challenges with empathy and respect.

Why Teach Conflict Resolution?

Conflicts offer teachable moments where students can learn how to communicate, understand different perspectives, and find solutions that respect everyone involved. When students develop conflict resolution skills, they are better equipped to handle problems independently, build positive relationships, and contribute to a peaceful school environment. By fostering these skills in elementary students, we set the foundation for healthier communication and relationships in their future.

Essential Conflict Resolution Skills for Students

Elementary school students can learn several key skills to help them resolve conflicts peacefully. Here are some fundamental skills to emphasize:

1. Active Listening – Students should practice listening to the other person’s point of view without interrupting. This helps them better understand the other person’s feelings and perspective.
2. Expressing Feelings Appropriately – Teaching students to use “I” statements, such as “I feel sad when you don’t share with me,” can help them express their emotions clearly without blaming others.
3. Empathy – Encouraging students to imagine how the other person is feeling helps them develop empathy and compassion, which are vital for resolving conflicts peacefully.
4. Problem-Solving – Students can be guided to brainstorm potential solutions together, considering everyone’s feelings and finding a compromise that works for both parties.
5. Staying Calm – Learning calming techniques, such as deep breathing or counting to ten, can help students approach conflicts with a clear and calm mindset.

Activities to Develop Conflict Resolution Skills

To help students internalize these skills, counselors can facilitate a variety of activities that can be integrated into everyday classroom routines. Here are some examples:

1. Role-Playing Scenarios – Set up common conflict situations, such as disagreements over sharing materials, and have students role-play both sides of the conflict. This allows them to practice active listening, expressing feelings, and problem-solving in a controlled and safe environment. You can also invite students to discuss how they felt in each role and what they learned from the experience.
2. The Peace Table – Set up a designated space in the classroom where students can go to resolve conflicts. The peace table can include prompts like “How did that make you feel?” and “What can we do to solve this problem together?” This encourages students to take ownership of their conflicts and work through them collaboratively.
3. Conflict Resolution Cards – Create a set of cards with different steps for resolving conflicts, such as “Listen to the other person’s perspective,” “Express your feelings using ‘I’ statements,” or “Come up with a solution together.” When a conflict arises, students can use these cards to guide them through the process of resolving the issue.
4. Class Meetings – Hold regular class meetings where students can discuss any conflicts that have arisen and work together to find solutions. This not only helps resolve conflicts but also builds a sense of community and collective responsibility.

Picture Books that Illustrate Conflict Resolution

Books are a powerful tool for helping students understand and visualize conflict resolution. Here are some picture books that beautifully illustrate the process:

1. “Enemy Pie” by Derek Munson – This book tells the story of a boy who learns how to turn his “enemy” into a friend with the help of his father. It teaches lessons about assumptions, friendship, and resolving conflicts.
2. “The Recess Queen” by Alexis O’Neill – A story about a playground bully and a new student who stands up to her, this book highlights the importance of kindness and peaceful conflict resolution.
3. “A Big Guy Took My Ball!” by Mo Willems – Part of the beloved Elephant & Piggie series, this story illustrates how to handle misunderstandings and how compromise can lead to a win-win solution.
4. “I Am Peace: A Book of Mindfulness” by Susan Verde – While not directly about conflict resolution, this book offers strategies for staying calm and centered, which can help students approach conflicts more thoughtfully.
5. “What If Everybody Did That?” by Ellen Javernick – This book introduces students to the concept of personal responsibility and thinking about how their actions affect others, which is crucial for preventing and resolving conflicts.

Bringing Peacekeeping into the Classroom

As elementary school counselors, we can work closely with teachers to ensure that conflict resolution skills are woven into the fabric of the classroom. By providing teachers with resources and training, and by regularly visiting classrooms to model these skills, we can create a school environment where students feel empowered to handle conflicts peacefully.

Developing peacekeepers is not a one-time lesson—it’s a continuous process of teaching, modeling, and practicing conflict resolution skills. When students learn how to navigate conflicts with respect, empathy, and problem-solving, they gain the tools they need to build positive relationships and contribute to a harmonious school community.