Change Happens: Teaching Elementary Students How to Adapt With Confidence

By Lynne Watts

Change is a natural and unavoidable part of life—and for elementary students, change happens more often than adults realize. New classrooms, shifting friendships, family changes, and growing responsibilities can feel overwhelming without guidance.

Elementary school counselors play a critical role in helping students understand that change is not something to fear, but something they can learn to manage with healthy coping strategies and flexible thinking.

Typical Life Changes Elementary Students Experience

Many adults underestimate how frequently young children encounter change. Common life changes for elementary students include:

Transitioning to a new grade or teacher
Changing classroom routines or schedules
Moving to a new home or school
Friendship changes or peer conflict
Family changes (divorce, remarriage, new siblings)
Academic expectations becoming more challenging
Loss of a pet or loved one
Increased independence and responsibility

Even positive changes—such as earning privileges or joining new activities—can cause stress when children don’t know what to expect.

Healthy, Productive Strategies for Adapting to Change

Children can learn skills that help them adjust to change with confidence and resilience. Counselors can explicitly teach and model these strategies:

1. Naming the Change

Helping students identify what is changing reduces confusion and fear. Naming the change gives it structure and clarity.

2. Normalizing Feelings

Teach students that feeling nervous, sad, excited, or frustrated during change is normal. Emotions are signals—not problems.

3. Focusing on What They Can Control

Encourage children to ask:

What can I do to help myself right now?
What stays the same even when things change?

4. Using Flexible Thinking

Help students practice replacing rigid thoughts (“This is terrible”) with flexible ones (“This is hard, but I can handle it”).

5. Seeking Support

Reinforce that asking for help—from a counselor, teacher, or trusted adult—is a strength, not a weakness.

Coping Strategies That Do Not Help Children Adapt

Some coping behaviors may seem helpful in the moment but actually make adjustment harder over time. These include:

Avoiding the change or pretending it isn’t happening
Shutting down emotionally or withdrawing from others
Acting out through anger, defiance, or disruption
Refusing to try new routines or expectations
Using negative self-talk (“I can’t do this,” “I’m bad at change”)

Counselors can gently reframe these behaviors as signals of stress, not misbehavior, and teach healthier alternatives.

Characteristics of Children Who Adapt Well to Change

Children who adjust successfully often show:

Emotional awareness (they can name how they feel)
Flexible thinking and problem-solving skills
Willingness to ask for help
Trust in adults and routines
Ability to tolerate discomfort without giving up

These skills can be taught, practiced, and strengthened over time.

Characteristics of Children Who Struggle With Change

Students who have difficulty adapting may:

Become highly anxious or rigid
Resist new routines or expectations
Have difficulty expressing emotions verbally
Fear making mistakes
Rely heavily on predictability

These students benefit most from explicit instruction, consistent routines, and reassurance that growth takes time.

The Benefits of Teaching Adaptability Early

When children learn to adapt to change, they gain lifelong skills that support success both in and out of school. Benefits include:

Increased resilience and emotional regulation
Improved problem-solving and decision-making
Greater confidence during transitions
Stronger peer and adult relationships
Reduced anxiety around uncertainty

Adaptability helps students move from “I can’t handle this” to “This is new, and I can learn.”

Final Thoughts for School Counselors

Change will always be part of life—but struggle doesn’t have to be. By teaching adaptability, counselors empower students with tools that help them face uncertainty with courage, curiosity, and confidence.

Small lessons today create resilient learners tomorrow.