Celebrate Your Child’s Personality Style!

Every personality style has strengths

Why does he act like that?

Why would she think like that?

What’s wrong with her anyway?

Have you ever said any of the above?  Don’t worry, we all have.

One of the goals of understanding the four basic personality styles is to move from tolerating a personality style in ourselves or others to accepting and ultimately celebrating that personality style. Every style has it’s own unique blend of strengths and weaknesses.

In ourselves as well as in our children, we must first come to accept and celebrate strengths rather than focusing on changing or eliminating undesirable aspects. No one personality is better than another.  For each personality style there are strengths and weaknesses.

Four Personality Styles

There are four basic personality styles and here’s a short description of the characteristics of each one:

D: dominant, determined, doer

I: inspiring, influencing, interactive

S: stable, supportive, sweet

C: cautious, competent, calculating

While we are all uniquely wired and more comfortable operating out of our predominate personality type, it is certainly possible to “visit” some of the other personality traits. In order to do this, we have to recognize the area of need and consciously develop those traits.

Within the four personality types, there is the possibility of a total of forty personality blends! It is important to note that very few people have only one personality type. In fact, about 80% of the population have two components that are high. The trick is to identify what characteristics are called for based on the situation. Each of us needs to spend most of our time working in our strengths. At the same time, we need to recognize when we should raise our less dominant characteristics based on the needs of the situation.

What does this mean for you and your child? What is the best way to encourage your child’s strengths while at the same time helping them deal with situations that challenge them?

  1. Teach:  When your child is old enough to understand their personality type explain to them their strengths. Point out to them when you see them using those qualities in a positive way.
  2. Apply: Help children recognize situations where they are challenged, so they can enhance the necessary qualities when called for.
  3. Celebrate: We all have a unique blend of strengths. The differences we all have is what makes our families special. Recognize and celebrate the gifts we each bring to our respective families and communities.